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Guides · Legal basics · England & Wales
What records should I keep? (calmly, and without turning into a detective)
Which co-parenting records are worth keeping, how long for, and what "court-ready" really means — and doesn't.
The two honest reasons
Why keep records at all.
The first reason is boring and lovely: fewer arguments. "Whose weekend is the 14th?" ends instantly when there's one shared calendar. "You never paid half the school trip" ends when the expense and the settlement are both logged. Most families who keep good records never show them to anyone — the record's job was keeping the peace.
The second reason is the insurance-policy one: if things ever do become formal — mediation, a solicitor's letter, a C100 application — the parent with a calm, dated, contemporaneous record spends the process establishing facts, not reconstructing memories. Professionals of every kind (mediators, Cafcass advisers, judges) work from specifics: dates, times, amounts, what was actually said.
One principle before the list: record to remember, not to ambush. A record kept as ammunition changes how you co-parent, and children feel it. The goal is a family logbook, not a case file — if it never gets used in anger, it worked.
The list
The five records worth keeping (and the ones that aren't).
The schedule as it actually happened
Not just the pattern you agreed — what actually occurred: handovers made and missed, swaps requested and agreed, holidays taken. A year of "what actually happened" answers almost every question anyone will ever ask you.
Agreements and changes
When you agree a weekend swap or a new pickup time, get it in writing — even a short message — and keep it somewhere findable. In ParentGlow, a change request carries its own audit trail: asked, agreed, done.
Money
Shared costs, who paid, who settled what, receipts for the big items. Disputes about £42 school trips generate heat wildly out of proportion to £42 — a settled-expenses log removes the fuel. How the expenses feature works.
Messages about the children — in one place
The practical problem with WhatsApp-plus-text-plus-email is that six months later nobody can find anything, and screenshots invite "that's out of context". One channel, timestamped, unedited, exportable, is what "court-ready" actually means in practice — see below. Messaging in ParentGlow is exactly this, with Tone Guard keeping the temperature down before send.
Health, school and the child's essentials
NHS numbers, medication and doses, school contacts, term dates, appointments. Less about disputes, more about two households never dropping the ball — but it's also the record that shows both homes engaged in the child's life.
What not to bother with: covert recordings (legally murky, and courts routinely dislike them — ask a solicitor before even considering it); diarising your ex-partner's character rather than events; keeping every grievance. Facts and dates, kindly kept, beat dossiers.
The honest definition
What "court-ready" really means (and what it doesn't).
You'll see us say court-ready and never "admissible" — deliberately. Whether any particular item is considered in any particular case is always the court's call, made case by case; nobody can honestly promise otherwise, and we don't.
What you can control is whether your records would be usable and credible if needed:
Contemporaneous
Made at the time, not reconstructed later.
Dated and specific
The 14th at 5pm, £42, named school trip.
Unedited and complete
A continuous record beats curated screenshots. Our short guide to text messages in family court goes into this.
Exportable and organised
Family courts expect documents in tidy, paginated bundles — the rules live in Practice Direction 27A. A record you can export cleanly (free, forever, in ParentGlow) drops into that world without a weekend of printing and highlighting.
If a solicitor or mediator ever does ask for your history, the difference between "here's the export" and "give me a fortnight with my phone" is the difference this page exists to make.
How long
How long to keep things.
There's no single legal answer; a practical one: keep the child-arrangements record for as long as the arrangements matter — realistically until your youngest is grown. Storage is cheap; hindsight isn't.
Child arrangements orders, explained → · Calmer co-parenting communication →
Quick answers
Record-keeping questions.
Should I keep records if everything is amicable?
Yes — that's when it's easiest, and the record is mostly a shared memory that keeps things amicable.
Are screenshots of texts enough?
Better than nothing; weaker than a continuous, timestamped, exportable thread. Context and completeness are what get questioned.
Can I promise a court will look at my records?
No — and be wary of anyone who promises that. Courts decide case by case; your job is only to make sure the record exists and is credible.
Is a co-parenting app's record better than a notebook?
A notebook works. An app adds timestamps, both-parents visibility, tamper-evidence and clean export — the credibility properties, automated.
Sources checked 1 September 2026: GOV.UK — making child arrangements · Practice Direction 27A — court bundles · Advicenow. Court practice can change; confirm the current position with a solicitor or Advicenow.
More legal basics: Can text messages be used in family court? → · The C100 form & MIAM → · Cafcass, explained → · All guides →
Bring thecalmhome.
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