England & Wales · separated parents
Online family mediation and MIAMs: a calm guide for separated parents.
Family mediation can happen remotely as well as in person. This guide explains the parent-facing essentials: what online sessions can look like, where a MIAM fits, what to ask about safety and costs, and how to keep any practical arrangements clear afterwards.
This guide covers England and Wales. It is general information, not legal advice, and does not replace advice from an authorised mediator or qualified legal adviser.
- Video, phone or in person
- Separate spaces may be possible
- Mediator-led and confidential
The short answer
Mediation helps you talk through decisions. It does not make them for you.
A trained, independent mediator helps separated parents discuss disagreements and look for workable arrangements. The mediator stays neutral: you and the other parent remain responsible for what you agree.
It can cover child arrangements, money or both. It is not relationship counselling, and it is not right for every family. The mediator should assess whether it is safe and suitable before any joint work begins.
Joining remotely
Online mediation can mean video or phone — and not always the same call.
GOV.UK says sessions can happen in person or remotely, including by video or phone. It also says you do not have to be in the same room or call as your former partner.
Ask what the mediator offers
Some mediators offer fully online sessions; others use a mix of remote and in-person meetings. The Family Mediation Council register lets you filter for mediators offering online mediation.
Choose a private place
Use a space where you can speak freely and will not be overheard. Ask in advance how documents, breaks and technical problems will be handled.
Raise safety concerns privately
Tell the mediator about abuse, intimidation, safeguarding concerns or anything that could make it hard to take part freely. They decide whether mediation is suitable and what format may be appropriate.
Check access needs
Ask about captions, interpreters, breaks, telephone access or other adjustments before the session. A remote format should make participation more workable, not create a new barrier.
Where a MIAM fits
For MIAM questions, use current guidance and an authorised mediator.
You may come across the term MIAM when considering mediation or a family-court application. The authorised mediator can explain what it means for your circumstances, including suitability, costs and possible next steps.
For many family-court applications in England and Wales, GOV.UK says an applicant must show they considered mediation by attending a MIAM unless an exemption applies. Rules and exemptions depend on the circumstances. Rather than relying on a general article, use the current official guidance and ask an authorised mediator or qualified legal adviser what applies to you.
Before you join
Prepare the questions, not the argument.
You do not need to arrive with a finished solution. A short list of the practical points that need attention is enough.
What needs deciding?
For example: the usual weekly pattern, holidays, handovers, school information, health appointments or shared costs.
What matters for the children?
Keep routines, practical needs and the children's wellbeing at the centre rather than trying to replay the relationship.
What do you need to ask?
Check the mediator's fees, online format, privacy arrangements, legal-aid work and whether the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme could apply.
What would make participation safer?
Tell the mediator privately about any concern before a joint session. If you or a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
Costs and support
Ask for the full cost picture before you begin.
Fees vary between mediators and services. Ask what the MIAM costs, how mediation sessions are charged, whether each parent pays separately, and what happens if more sessions are needed.
Legal aid may cover mediation for people who qualify. For eligible child-related cases in England and Wales, the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme may contribute up to £500 towards mediation sessions, subject to suitability, eligibility and funding availability. The voucher does not cover the MIAM itself.
After a useful conversation
Turn practical arrangements into something both homes can follow.
If you reach common ground, write down the everyday detail: dates, handovers, school holidays, communication, shared costs and when you will review the arrangement.
A parenting plan can give that detail a clear home. ParentGlow can help both parents keep shared dates, messages and day-to-day information organised afterwards. ParentGlow makes a co-parenting app; it is not a mediator, legal adviser or substitute for professional support. Ask a mediator or legal adviser about the legal effect of anything you agree.
Safety first
Mediation is not right for every situation.
A remote format does not make an unsafe process safe. The mediator should assess whether mediation is appropriate and whether you can participate freely.
Tell the mediator privately about domestic abuse, coercion, intimidation or safeguarding concerns. If you or a child is in immediate danger, call 999. For support, use the GOV.UK domestic abuse help page.
Quick answers
Online mediation and MIAM questions.
Can family mediation happen online?
Yes. GOV.UK says sessions can take place remotely by video or phone, as well as in person. Ask the mediator what they offer and whether it suits your circumstances.
Do we have to join the same call?
Not necessarily. GOV.UK says you do not have to be in the same room or call as your former partner. Discuss safety and format privately with the mediator.
What should I know about a MIAM?
You may come across the term when considering mediation or a family-court application. For many applications in England and Wales, official guidance says attendance is required unless an exemption applies. An authorised mediator should explain the current rules for you.
Can ParentGlow replace a mediator?
No. ParentGlow is an organisation tool for co-parents. It can help with dates, messages and practical arrangements, but it does not provide mediation or legal advice.
Sources checked 23 July 2026: GOV.UK — mediation and child arrangements · GOV.UK — Family Mediation Voucher Scheme · Family Mediation Council register. Procedure, fees and support can change; confirm the current position with an authorised mediator.
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