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School & health · England
When school contacts only one parent
If the school email, parents' evening note or health update always lands in one home, it can leave the other parent feeling shut out. Start with a calm, child-focused request to check the information held and the way routine updates are sent.
Start with the practical bit
Ask for the record to be checked, not for anyone to take sides.
A school may be working from the details it was given when your child joined, or from an old preference for one parent to receive the first message. That does not make the missed update any less frustrating. A short, factual request gives the office something clear to act on.
Contact the school office directly
Ask it to check the names, email addresses, phone numbers and communication preferences recorded for your child. Use the school’s usual route for updating parent details.
Keep the request about your child
Name the information you need to receive, such as routine emails, reports, appointments and term-date changes. Leave the history between adults out of the message.
Ask what the school needs from you
It may need to check identity, parental responsibility or relevant orders before changing a record. Let the school explain its own process instead of assuming one rule fits every family.
Keep a simple shared note at home
Once an update arrives, put the date, deadline or appointment in one place both homes can use. It reduces the chance that the child becomes the messenger.
The careful legal context
What the England school guidance says.
Department for Education guidance for schools in England says that a person with parental responsibility is entitled to information about their child’s health and education. The same guidance says that schools should ask for contact details for all parents when a pupil is registered, and should note the details of any court order in the pupil’s educational record.
That is not a reason to demand another parent’s address, email address or correspondence. The DfE also tells schools to protect parents’ private data and to take particular care where domestic abuse may be a risk. A school’s first responsibility is the child’s welfare. If there is a relevant order, safeguarding plan or a genuine safety concern, give the school that information privately and let it handle the position.
The DfE guidance applies to England. If your child is educated in Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland, ask the school or local authority for the policy that applies there.
GP services are separate
For GP information, ask the surgery about family and carer access.
School communications and GP access are separate systems. For a child under 16, NHS guidance says a parent or guardian with legal parental responsibility can ask their GP surgery about family and carer access, also called proxy access.
The surgery may ask for identification and documents that help show parental responsibility. It also makes its own checks. NHS guidance says this can include checking with others who share parental responsibility, considering safeguarding, and, for a child aged 11 or over, considering the child’s consent and capacity. More than one person can act for a child, but access is not automatic and may differ as a child gets older.
Ask your own surgery what is available locally and what documents it needs. Do not rely on a school record to update GP access, or the other way around.
A calm first message
A short note is enough.
You can adapt this to the school office. Keep it factual, polite and focused on the child.
Subject: Updating contact details for [child’s first name]
Hello, I am [name], [child’s first name]’s parent. Please could you check the contact details and communication preferences held for me, and let me know the usual process for receiving routine school information directly? I can provide any identification or documents you need. Thank you.
You do not need to copy the other parent into this request. Equally, the school should not disclose their private details to you. If there is a safety concern, say so privately rather than putting it in a shared thread.
Keep messages calmer and clearer → · Put school and health routines in a parenting plan → · When parents disagree about a school →
Quick answers
School and GP information questions.
Can a separated parent ask a school for information about their child?
In England, Department for Education guidance says a person with parental responsibility is entitled to information about their child's health and education. Schools need to consider the child's welfare and any relevant orders or safeguarding concerns, so ask the school what it needs from you and how it handles contact details.
What should I ask the school to do?
Ask the school office to check the contact details and communication preferences recorded for your child, and ask how you can receive the usual parent communications directly. Keep the request factual and child-focused. Do not ask the school to pass on the other parent's private contact details.
Can both separated parents have online access to a child's GP services?
For a child under 16, the NHS says a parent or guardian with legal parental responsibility can ask their GP surgery about family and carer access, sometimes called proxy access. The surgery decides access after its checks, including safeguarding and, for older children, consent and capacity. A child can have more than one person acting for them.
What if there are safeguarding concerns or a court order?
Tell the school or GP surgery about any relevant order or safeguarding concern, and follow its request for evidence. Information sharing can be limited where disclosure could increase risk to a child, young person or parent. If you or your child are in immediate danger, call 999.
Primary sources checked 15 September 2026: Department for Education, Understanding and dealing with issues relating to parental responsibility · GOV.UK, parental rights and responsibilities · NHS, family and carer access for children under 16 · NHS England Digital, complex proxy-access scenarios.
More practical help: UK school term dates by council → · What records should I keep? → · All guides →
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