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Communication & day-to-day
What to do when the other parent won't use a co-parenting app
You want the structure of an app. They've said no. Three honest truths, in order: you can't force them, a surprising amount works with one parent, and how you invite matters more than whether you keep asking.
First
You can't make them use it.
It is worth saying plainly, because it is the bit that hurts: another parent gets to decide whether to download an app. The useful question is not how to win that argument. It is which parts of your own family admin you can make clearer now, without pretending they are shared agreements.
What follows is what one parent can set up today, what waits for both parents, and how to leave a clear invitation open without making it the centre of every conversation.
Checked against the app, 2 October 2026
What genuinely works with one parent.
In ParentGlow, one parent can create a family and an invite code. The other parent can ask to join with that code, and the existing parent approves the request. While that is pending, you can still use the parts of the app that belong to your own family admin:
A private journal
Journal entries are private to the parent who writes them. The other parent cannot see that they exist through the family record.
A schedule that stays visibly pending
You can set an intended parenting pattern with a co-parent marked as pending. Until the invite is redeemed, the app keeps that status visible rather than presenting the pattern as agreed.
Child information and care-log entries
You can add child information and create care-log entries. Care-log entries cannot be edited or deleted after they are created. Entries marked private are visible only to their author.
An expense log
You can log expenses. Settling a shared balance is different: it needs two participating parents.
A free personal data export
ParentGlow offers a free personal data export. It is a way to take a copy of your information, not a decision about what happened or a guarantee of any legal outcome. Read our general guide to keeping records.
What waits for both parents: shared messaging, agreeing changes and settling shared expenses. ParentGlow is not a route to a parent who has not joined it. A pending co-parent remains visibly pending in the schedule, so your own setup is not presented as an agreement.
The ask
How to invite them so they might actually say yes.
The framing matters more than the frequency. Blame-free, practical, and ideally not coming from you.
Make it about the admin, not about them
Try one brief, practical explanation: "One place for the children's school dates and information." Leave out the history and the subtext.
Make the choice clear
Share the invite code once and give them space to decide. Our page for invited parents explains what joining means from their side.
Keep the next step proportionate
If you are making child arrangements after separation, GOV.UK sets out routes to agreement and support. The app can organise information, but it cannot make an agreement for either of you.
If it's still no
Practical fallbacks.
Keep your records anyway
They're yours, they cost nothing to keep, and they're the thing you'll be glad of in a year. Our guide to what records to keep covers the five that matter.
Route handovers through a third place
If direct contact is the problem, school as the exchange point, a trusted relative, or a contact centre's handover service takes the two of you out of the room. See calmer handovers.
Leave the door open
A no now does not settle every future decision. Keep the invitation available without turning it into a weekly argument.
If you're stepping back from contact altogether while staying fully involved with the children, that has a name and a structure. See parallel parenting.
One careful paragraph
When refusal is about control.
Sometimes "no" to a neutral, record-keeping app is part of a wider pattern, including not wanting things written down, or of keeping you off balance. We're not going to diagnose anyone from here. But if that's what this feels like, it's bigger than an app.
Speak to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours), Women's Aid or the ManKind Initiative, and call 999 in an emergency. An app is not a safety plan.
Quick answers
The questions parents ask when their co-parent won't join.
Do both parents need to use a co-parenting app?
Two parents are needed for shared features such as messaging, agreeing changes and settling shared expenses. One parent can still create a family, keep a private journal, add child information, log expenses and prepare a personal data export. A schedule can show a co-parent as pending while an invite is waiting to be redeemed.
Can I make the other parent use a co-parenting app?
No. You can make one clear, practical invitation and leave space for their answer. If you are working out child arrangements after separation, GOV.UK explains the options for agreeing arrangements and getting support. This is general information, not legal advice about your circumstances.
What does a solo record show?
It shows what you entered. ParentGlow keeps a pending co-parent visibly pending and does not present that as an agreement. The app offers a free personal data export, but an export does not decide what happened or what should happen next.
What if I'm worried about why they're refusing?
If saying no to neutral record-keeping is part of a wider pattern of control, that's not an app problem. Speak to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (free, 24 hours), Women's Aid or the ManKind Initiative, and call 999 in an emergency. An app is not a safety plan.
Product participation and privacy claims checked against ParentGlow app main @ 8e78dda on 2 October 2026. General child-arrangements information read from GOV.UK: making child arrangements on 2 October 2026.
Related: Calmer co-parenting communication → · Calmer handovers → · Keeping co-parenting records → · All guides →
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